Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘time’

November 25

I’ve had readers ask me why I haven’t written Day 365.  It didn’t begin as intentional – I didn’t mean to skip the last day.  I wasn’t ignoring it.  In a way, I wasn’t thinking about it at all.  But then I realized the obligation of writing a daily blog was a kind of practice in meditation – I have been focusing on writing like I focus on meditative breathing; and since I am a beginner at meditation – liable for straying from focus – I would make it a practice to return to the breath, so to speak, to get back on track.  It has been quite a commitment to open myself up to this discovery, or discoveries, that I have hoped would bring me to a higher level of consciousness and enlightenment.

When I realized the analogy of meditation, while it’s equally important to commit to meditation on a daily basis, I also realized that to a Buddhist, days melt together into an infinite stretch.  What is time, anyway?  It’s a measurement man had created for himself – really for farming purposes.  I’m not suggesting there’s no purpose or ceremony in an individual day, but, rather, each day is like a wave on an ocean.  We don’t always look out to the sea and see every single wave that rises, crests and falls.  But those waves are out there, they matter, they keep the rhythm of the ocean alive, they are constant and they follow a larger source and rhythm that we don’t even see.  Most of us don’t even feel it, which is sad.  But, I do.  Feel the source (not see every wave!).  And, thus, are my days – 344, 362, 365, whatever.  It doesn’t really matter.  My journey began long before the blog and my evolution continues to excelerate well past that missed day.

I was going to go back and write it, but when I was collecting the written entries to work this blog into a book project I’m hoping to get published, I realized I had accidentally skipped a day.  So, I’m actually two days short.

But, kind reader, don’t be dismayed that I have skipped or missed two days.  I am not dismayed, myself.  Those blanks, too, have served their purpose in my story.

If there must be some kind of closure to the 365 Days Until Love blog, however, let it be this…

Jane Goodall once wrote:
I have found that to love and to be loved is the most empowering and exhilirating of all human emotions.

And that applies to love in all of its manifestations.

John Denver wrote a song (perfomed with opera’s legendary tenor Placido Domingo) called Perhaps Love.  I write the lyrics below (without permission):

(Placido Domingo)
Perhaps love is like a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don’t know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

(John Denver)

(Placido Domingo)
Oh, Love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel

(John Denver)
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel

(Placido Domingo)
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
And some say they don’t know

(John starts joined by Placido)
Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it’s cold outside
Thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

(Placido Domingo)
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go

(John Denver)
And some say love is everything
Some say they don’t know

(John starts joined by Placido)
Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it’s cold outside
Or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

When Denver wrote the song he was thinking about all the ways he experienced love.  He thought about what all people must think of love, and the song came to him effortlessly.  A turning point for him, as an artist and musician, happened when he listened to Domingo sing the song with him in a live concert.  Denver was deeply impressed by the way Domingo sang his lyrics, which, thus, changed the way Denver sang his own songs from there on.  He had said, “when Placido sang the word steel, you felt steel.  When he sang the word cloud, you felt a cloud.”

And that is how I consider my work, now, moving forward, as an artist and as a humble woman – daughter, sister, friend, lover – to say what I mean and mean what I say, to feel and express myself deeply and fully, and to have strength in my love and loving.  And this I mean for love in all of its beautiful manifestations.

Blessings.

L.A.J.

 

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Monday, June 16

The weather has been amazing with blue, sunny skies and warm temps.  I was in a great mood.  I went to work for a few hours in the morning, to get through some imminent deadlines.  Then I enjoyed lunch with a few of my co-workers before finishing up my day in the office before heading out to the zoo to help my co-worker pour our wines for our distributor’s northwest wines tasting for the local trade.  There was a pretty good turnout and I saw several colleagues – it was nice to catch up with familiar faces in the Portland food and wine world.  It would have been even more nice if I could have seen some of the animals at the zoo.  There were a bunch of wild rugrats running all over the place on my way out, all on their final leg, soon to tucker out, and I decided that was animal enough for me.

After, I scooted on home to change, put my hair in pigtails, and get to the Tualatin Island Greens golf center.  I bought a new glove and a medium bucket of balls.  I went through my drills, confident in my consistency.  Only my second time out since September, I was pleased with the level of improvement in my swing since my great lessons last summer and fall.  I challenged myself to reach a pin about 85-90 yards ahead.  All five of my shots ended up within 2-5 yards of the pin.  I don’t have a driver, but I use my 3 wood for my long tee shots.   I consistently hit five balls straight down the fareway for about 275 yards  (where each ball eventually rolled and ended).  I was pretty psyched – and all because I was consistent.  My challenge on the course has often been figuring out the right club and knowing how long and consistent I’d need to hit that club.  I finally felt like I’m getting a better feel for each club and for my ability to successfully hit each club.  It’s a pretty cool discovery.

I then drove to Safeway in King City to pick up some groceries.  I was in the mood for a taco salad – for it, I bought fresh tomatoes from Canada (no salmonella scare there – these maters had been cleared); butterleaf lettuce with radicchio; pitted black olives; a colorful medley of organic peppers; organic tortilla chips and a can of organic black beans.  I bought a nice cilantro and garlic chipotle salsa that I knew would make for a nice ‘dressing’.  I already had a Mexican blend of cheeses at home.

I also bought local organic raspberries that looked amazing; white nectarines; gluten-free waffles; lite orange juice; organic pickles to take with me to work for lunch; and a couple of Amy’s frozen gluten-free bowls.  I love grocery shopping, so I get a sense of great accomplishment when I write up my shopping lists and cross them off as I pick out the items on the list.  I get a recycled sense of accomplishment when I type it out, too.  I know, I really need to find a new hobby.

I unloaded the groceries and immediately made my taco salad.  It was more than satisfying.  It was everything I needed to end my perfectly happy day.  Good flavors, sustenance, just the right portion, and just the right balance of crunchy and soft and supple.  The butterleaf was the perfect lettuce to use.  I had a small glass of orange juice to go with it.

An hour or so after dinner I did about 150 crunches.  I finished with a cup of Yogi Chamomile tea and relaxed. 

I didn’t get any writing done – I wanted to work on my book edits and some of the northwest themed poetry I’ve been writing.  I had been thinking a lot about food for some of my poems, with nettles and fiddlehead ferns topping my list of poetic vegetation.  But writing, more than anything else in my life, can’t be forced.  I need to figure out how to better balance my day to fit in my job, exercise, golf, cooking and yes, when able, writing.  It’s a challenge to dedicate the time I need for my writing.  I try not to let this get me down and, instead, aim to be proactive with the time I do get.  It’s always all about striking a balance.  Which is normally exhausting just thinking about it.  I fantasize about having more time, all of the time.  And cash.  I’m just sayin.

 

Read Full Post »