Day 307: An Awakening

Sunday, July 20

I slept in, which was lovely.  I stripped down my bed and put in a load of laundry.  I emptied the dishwasher and then read some.

I drove to Sherwood to the Target to look for some decorations for the pre-IPNC wine dinner.  I found some large, flat river stones that I’m going to use in place of place cards.  I picked up a couple of metallic gold paint pens to write names down on the river stones.  And then I bought some smaller river stones to place loose on the tables.

From Target I drove to the Mt. Tabor neighborhood for some much needed yoga at my favorite studio, Yoga Union.  I went to the 3:30 Hot Flow class, which means the studio was hot like Bikram, and the movements were really challenging.  This afternoon’s focus was on the shoulders.  It was a  great overall body workout, but a nice, strengthening shoulder flow.  I sweat like crazy.  And…I was distracted by a very cute, muscular twenty-something man. 

Mid-way through the class he took off his shirt, and at first I kept trying to look away.  I kept telling myself to focus!  But I couldn’t stop peeking.  It was like a train wreck, only beautiful.  He was astonishing!  I felt like a voyeur as I continued to glance at his perfect muscles as they rippled and hardened with each challenging yoga pose.  I watched the sweat glisten on his body and, for a moment, I wanted to be the sweat glistening on his body!  I had to cool off – only it was 96 degrees in the studio!  The good news was that, after being in a fog for over two years, I realized that I wasn’t angry, sad or afraid of men anymore – if it’s fair to put my feelings into that light.  The good news was that all of those negative thoughts were out of my system, and in a good, healthy yoga class I found my romantic prana.  And it made me smile.  Blush, too.  It was an awakening.

After my class I took a cold shower in the locker room.  I scrubbed my hair clean, and used an exfoliating wash cloth to slough off the dead skin cells.  I felt clean and renewed after my hard and invigorating workout.  I drove down to the Pearl District and met Kerry for dinner at Bay 13.  I was in the mood for sushi.  The highlight was their Manhattan with the luscious amarone cherry.  It’s one of the best Manhattans in town.  I also had the Bay 13 sushi roll with wheat-free tamari sauce. 

We were seated outside on the loungey sofas with a view of the 24 Hour Fitness gym.  We kept gawking at all of the cute men walking in and out.  We called Susan and convinced her to meet us out.  We were, after all, celebrating Summer Sundays.  I came up with this concept back when we had an unusually hot spell in May.  It was the Sunday of that weekend that we convened at Clyde Common and drank bubbles and I declared it the start of Summer Sundays – when we’d meet for good food, good cocktails, good wine and no worries bout the fading weekend.  The thought was to launch the work week on a good note with an enjoyable Summer Sunday.  It was kind of like a Jimmy Buffet concept, really.

So, tonight was no exception.  Susan met us for dinner.  The weather was great and there were so many attractive men to look at in this neighborhood – a perfect combination for this group of sassy, free spirited women! 

After Bay 13, we walked along 13th Street toward Powell’s at the other end of the Pearl.  We went to Mio Gelato and ordered our favorite summer treat.  I had a small cup with one scoop of Mascarpone and one scoop of Cioccolato gelato.  It was divine.  We wandered through Powell’s and just loved being in the company of so many books.  I didn’t buy anything, as I forgot my book list that I created at Summer Fishtrap.

I got home and was really content.  My energy is good.  I feel good – balanced and really happy.  I could write that good things are to come.  But, that’s life.  You get good times and bad times cycling in and out of your days.  I went through a bad patch with my accident and my current financial stress.  But, I really do feel good things coming – both on the literary front and in the places in my heart.

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Day 270: Spring is Back, Celebrity Dopplegangers & The One Who’s Got Your Back

Thursday, June 12

It was hard to say what this day would turn out to be.  I got up, optimistic, and put on a bright green tank top made of super soft organic cotton and a chartreuse colored hoodie.  I packed a pair of bronze flip flops in my car, in the event that it might get warm out…dare I hope!  It was cloudy, overcast and cool in the morning.  I wore my standard black quilted vest over my hoodie and my black Danskos to work.  Still, I hoped for a turn-around in the afternoon.

And I got my wish!  I met a videographer at the Starbuck’s in Sherwood to discuss a video project that we’ll stream on the website and set up as a DVD deliverable.  By the time I had left, the sky was already clearing.  It still wasn’t all that great out, but I could feel the winds-a-changin!

And by the time I went into a meeting about our winery and office construction, the sky was blue, the sun was out and it was spring-like weather again, the good spring weather, I should say.  What a difference the sun makes.  And there’s nothing quite like the sunbreaks in the northwest.

The day seemed to fly by and before I knew it I was on my way home.  It was gorgeous out.  Sunny and warm.  The happiness filled up again.  It was like the universe was back in order.  I could breathe again, and breathe with a sigh of relief. 

When I got home I checked my mail and noticed I received a package from my mom, by way of key.  I used the key in the shipped boxes mailboxes and retrieved a shoebox sized package from my mom. At home, I read some and then gathered some of my writing materials and headed downtown.  I would open the box later.

I was supposed to have a meeting in Newberg with the gals from the San Francisco trip (last April) – but we canceled our tentative New York trip, and, alas our afternoon/evening meeting.  So, onward toward the Pearl.  I parked on 9th and Couch and walked to Deschutes.  It was packed and there was no space at the bar, so I gave up.  On my way out, my colleague Annie, a fellow closet John Denver and Dan Fogelberg fan, called.  Only, the phone call was unlisted, so I didn’t know it was Annie…until I heard this faint, strange music in the background…

“Hello?” I kept saying, but I couldn’t make out much except for the very faint voice of John Denver singing.  And then I knew… only Annie, or her husband, Scott, would send me such sweet song notes over the phone waves!  We briefly chatted after a few laughs – I told her I owed her a video stream in my next email to her.

I walked towards 13th and Glison and worked my way to Bay 13.  I grabbed a seat at the bar.  There were a lot of cute men all over this trendy yet sometimes obnoxious spot.  But, I like the bar.  Anyway, this middle-aged woman was seated two bar stools down and started talking to me right away.  I really didn’t feel like chatting, because I wanted to work on some of my edits, but I got hooked in.  And, to be honest, I felt sorry for her.  She was clearly lonely and just wanted someone to chat with.  Finally, Susan called, after I had half-way finished my Manhattan – the bartender, a petite, Julianna Margulies doppleganger, makes a mean Manhattan.  The best part was the amaretto cherry.  Delish.

Speaking of dopplegangers - I found this pretty entertaining and funny celebrity doppleganger site.  The weirdest one – Bono and Robin Williams.  But, this photo does match them up in an eerie way. 

Anyway, back to Bay 13.  I ordered the ceviche of the day, which was made with swordfish, and the Bay 13 sushi roll.  The kind bartender brought me wheat free tamari for my sushi.  She told me her roommate had Celiac disease.  I always tip extra when my servers and bartenders get the Celiac thing.

By the time my food arrived, so did Susan.  And not a moment too soon.  I was tired of listening to the sad, drunkish lady who kept chatting my ear off and getting too close in to my personal space.

Kerry eventually met us there.  By that time, my dinner was long gone and I was on to a scoop of caramel gelato and a glass of Prosecco.  The food isn’t amazing at Bay 13, but it is consistent.  The ceviche was quite lovely, actually.

After dinner, and after we said our good-byes, after a good amount of time at starting at the very well dressed, handsome men, and contemplating if they were gay or metrosexuals, because it’s quite difficult to differentiate in this part of town, we went on our way.  I walked by myself several blocks back to my car at 9th and Couch.  It was a gorgeous night out, the kind of night you want to take in for a stroll.  The air was clear, the sky was dark, the streets smelled like a melange of wonderful flavorful restaurant spices, meats and grease. 

I got home just after midnight with a runny nose.  I sat on my bright red Ikea sofa while my two cats ran around wild chasing each other, and I opened up the package my mother sent me.  When I tore off the brown paper wrapping, I giggled at the box.  It wasn’t a shoe box, at all, but rather was one of my dad’s emptied gun club target loads boxes by Remington.  Nice.  I opened up the taped box and found a bag of Johnson’s pure cotton balls, no doubt to use with my facial toner, and an object taped in bubble wrap.  I removed the wrap and found a berry bowl by Hutzler – a plastic container and lid that guarantees keeping fruit fresh longer – ideal for strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, boysenberries, gosseberries, grapes, cherries, etc.  I think the label covered most, if not all of the berries out there!  And, this gift makes sense, since I live in the berry capital!  We do have amazing fresh berries in Oregon.  Her care package was very sweet – random – but sweet. 

By the time I emptied the contents of the package, I was pretty tired.  I was really grateful for a sunny day, for a lovely evening walk in my favorite city and for my thoughtful mother.  She has really been my rock of Gibralter lately, well, who am I kidding?  Always.  She’s my true north.  She bailed me out of a credit card fiasco, so that I will no longer have to deal with ridiculous APR fees – something quite generous on her part.  I will pay her back, even though she’s not asking me to.  I’m not that irresponsible.  But, I am simply grateful.  She’s got my back, all the time.  And we all need that one person who, no matter what, always has our back. 

 

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Day 201: Elizabeth Gilbert Revisited, Out for Dinner & Gratitude

Friday, April 4
11:53 p.m.

My head was all a-buzz with the wisdom shared by Elizabeth Gilbert last night.  It was refreshing to hear her share more stories, including the ones about her first book tour (a couple of books before Eat, Pray, Love), and how she’d arrive at bookshops where forty seats were pulled out and only one person showed up, only, he didn’t really show up, he was that weird, creepy guy who lingers at the book store (you know that guy).  That was her recollection, and, ultimately, she was quite humbled by the concert hall sized turn-outs she’s now commanding.

I loved how she admitted to her lack of discipline regarding meditation, as in the ‘Pray’ part of her book, she was at an Ashram in India doing quite a lot of that.  It just goes to show that it’s impossible to be perfectly balanced and practicing everything that makes an enlightened person, well, alight.  It made me feel better about my inability to stick with my meditation every day.  Still, I hope to improve.  I’m always trying to improve!

She’s a good role model for me.  I really related to her stories about always knowing she wanted to be a writer.  Yup.  I have plenty of my story telling early days well preserved in my memory – like when I was in third grade and on the days we had show-and-tell, and I forgot to bring something in, I would still raise my hand and go to the front of the class to tell…a story, or rehash a weird dream I had the night before, fully embellishing it for added drama.  I had quite an imagination.  In fact, I still have at home copies of miniture books I’d write, most notably The Frozen Lake’s Blue Tint, a paranormal story about a girl who drowned in a lake by her family’s cabin in the Virginia mountains.  It was inspired by Disney’s The Watcher in the Woods, especially the part when the main character, Jan, is at one point underwater caught on a branch in a stream, which gave me nightmares.

Anyway, her lecture sparked in me the ember that has always burned inside me, and that is the desire to create stories, to write.

It had been a long week.  I didn’t leave work until 6:45 – for a Friday, that’s late.  I was going to go for a walk-in pedicure near by home and then stay in and watch movies.  On my way home, I was persuaded to grab sushi for dinner.   I was going to meet Kerry at Bay 13 in the Pearl District.  I arrived first and grabbed a couple of seats at the bar.  I ordered a Manhattan and nibbled on a plate of tangy ceviche that was served with citrus, cilantro and Taro chips until Kerry arrived.  We ordered a couple sushi rolls, the Rainbow Roll of tuna, salmon, Hamachi, crab and avocado, and the Bay 13 Roll of salmon, Wakame, Daikon Sprouts and Black Tobiko.  The bartender kindly brought me a bottle of wheat-free/gluten-free Tamari sauce.

Seated at the bar next to us was a really nice guy who owns a small winery in the Gorge.  We ended up chatting with him for an hour or so.  Kerry and I shared a Millennium Farms green salad with a light, sweet lemon dressing.  We sampled his Cabernet, which was delightful – it was medium bodied with nice hints of vanilla, cream, dark fruits, spice and white pepper.  It would pair beautifully with a number of foods.

After dinner, I drove home and was welcomed by Shadow.  He mewed at me and rubbed up against my leg and I brought him some food, then fed my kitties and then watched ABC’s Nightline.  I stretched and did some simple yoga poses and stretches, then sipped on Yogi Bedtime tea.  I didn’t have any tension and felt immense gratitude for what I have in my life. 

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Day 164: Be the Best Human I Can Be…

Wednesday, February 27
11:06 p.m.

Today was gloriously sunny.  We’ve been having spectacular weather for Portland in February!  It made it up to 61 degrees out.  The days are getting longer and I can’t wait for daylight savings time to kick in, in just a few weeks. 

I managed to get in my 15 minutes of meditation.  I had a busy day at work, which was good.  I’ve got some great, creative projects in the queue, which I am excited about. 

I was the last to leave work tonight and met my friend Susan at Tigard High School.  We walked about 2 miles around the track, watching the high school girls lacrosse practice, and then some grade school soccer teams.  There are some talented youth athletes in this region.  It made me want to coach!

After our walk, we went over to Bridgeport Village.  Our friend, Kerry, was supposed to meet us for sushi and then Men In Trees at my place.  But after our walk, when we got to the restaurant, Sinju, we got messages from Kerry.  She had to cancel, which was a bummer because we wanted to hear all about her recent trip to Napa for a wine writer’s conference.  Susan and I split a basic California roll, edamamme, a leafy green salad with a ginger dressing and then mochi ice cream.

After dinner we went back to my place to watch Men In Trees.  I’ve missed this program.  I don’t watch a ton of t.v., but I like the quirky characters on this program.  I was a little out of focus while watching the program, and ended up getting online, but it was a good episode – I’m glad it’s back.

I was going to try to squeeze in a meditation session before going to bed – we’ll see.  This is when it gets tough – when I’m up later than expected. 

I read some of my Stages of Meditation book by the Dalai Lama and started keeping a journal to take notes and write entries.  I am treating this like a school text book.  I really consider myself a student at this point and can’t wait to learn and fully practice the suggested meditation.  This book helps to explain the importance of it, why it’s such a cornerstone of Buddhism.  The role of meditation is to put enlightenment into practice.  With meditation, the blessing is received when “the mind’s virtuous attributes gain strength and its defective characteristics weaken or deteriorate,” (p. 13, prologue).  What I hope to learn and gain from meditation is the ability to eliminate the defective characteristics – anger, jealously, stress, fear, etc.  In becoming whole, I hope to live a life of compassion.  Even the nicest, most compassionate people can improve their path of enlightenment.  I just want to be the best human I can be.

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