Day 284: Simple Acts of Detoxification

Thursday, June 25

This afternoon at work I joined my coworkers out on our deck to plant flowers, tomatoes, basil, strawberries and squash in two wine barrels.  We’re all pretty psyched about the mini garden.  After, we all went to an open house at a new tasting room in downtown Newberg.  It’s a beautiful spot and it was good to chat with colleagues.  I decided to forgo the wine and appetizers and opted for a glass of water.  I left after fifteen minutes in attempt to make a 6:30 p.m. Vinyassa class at Yoga Pearl. 

I stopped home first to change into my yoga gear and to grab my mat.  But I hit all kinds of crazy traffic.  I arrived at 6:36 and missed the class.  A woman there, eating at the Blossoming Lotus Cafe, which is adjacent to the studio, came over and told me I could possibly make it to Yoga Union, up in the Mt. Tabor neighborhood (up Hawthorne), for the 7:15 p.m. class.  I was on my way.  I rushed into the studio with a kind of energy that I know was scorned by the uber relaxed staff who were chilling out exponentially, and trying to get me to chill out without telling me in a rude tone to chill out.  That’s more a jab at myself, not the staff.  They were all very pleasant.  I got all signed up and was offered a free class, since it was my first one there.  That was very kind! 

Tonight’s 7:15 class was hot yoga – and it was wonderful.  I spent 90 minutes challenging my body and sweating like crazy.  It was a rigorous class and I could feel every muscle benefit, I could feel my breath improving, I could feel all of my body systems benefitting from this incredible workout.  There’s really nothing like yoga – it’s truly a mind, body, soul workout.  I loved this studio, the instructor was kind, funny and for sure a spiritual guide.  I would definitely return soon for another class.

Class was over by 8:45 p.m., and by the time I’d get home to eat dinner that would mean a late digestion.  So, I decided to stop by a Thai/Vietnamese place, and ordered a papaya salad to start, followed by a medium bowl of pho soup.  I was 99% sure I was safe from gluten contamination.  The papaya salad was really good, I only ate a small helping.  I figured I’d take the leftovers home for lunch.  The pho was okay, not quite as good as a Vietnamese only restaurant.  Still, it hit the spot.

On my way out, a homeless guy who had been loitering outside of the restaurant had asked me if I had any leftovers, which I obviously did, as I was holding the box on my way out.  My compassion brimmed and I handed him the box that was filled with my leftover papaya salad.  I got into my car and as I turned back onto Hawthorne, I noticed the guy tossed the leftover papaya salad into the trash.  I was pissed.  I love papaya salad and would have been super happy to have it for lunch.  But, I wanted to do the right thing and offer it to someone who seemed to need it more that I did.  The guy was ungrateful for my charity.  When do beggars become choosers?  Okay, this guy was hungry and I gave him food and it wasn’t good enough?  I’m sorry that it wasn’t chicken chow mein or beef rangoon, but give me a flippin’ break.  It was free food!  And healthy.  And delicious!  This was my first experience with an ungrateful homeless person.  And it made me more sad than angry.  I couldn’t believe this dude wasted the food and threw it away!!  Seriously??

When I got home I had to rinse off.  I sweat profusely at yoga.  I stared off by using my dry skin brush to detoxify and stimulate the lymph system.  This removes dead skin cells and promote’s the skin’s process of excreting toxins through the skin.  It’s recommended to do it immediately before showering or bathing, starting with the feet and working up the body towards the heart.

I took a refreshing shower with a refreshing ginger salt scrub by Origins followed by a rosemary-mint shower gel on a loofah.  I love Origins and Aveda, and I am on this serious kick to put only natural products on my hair and skin that I could eat – I mean, why would you put chemicals on your body that absorb? 

While I cleansed my skin, I reflected on why I loved yoga so much, how it makes you slow down and focus on breath and your body.  After I towel dried off, my skin was baby smooth.  The toxins had been released from yoga and dry brushing, while the dead skin had been sloughed off. 

I put on some loose, organic cotton pajama pants with a tank top, and went downstairs to drink more water, a cup of Yogi chamomile tea, and I truly felt cleared, balanced and happy.

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Day 263: News Report – Why Men Fear Marriage

Thursday, June 5

Wait.  Is this really June?  Really?  Well, so far this June sucks.  It’s more like March.  It’s cold out.  It’s cloudy and gray.  Oh yeah, it’s Portland.  Where did I think I was when I woke up?

Anyway.  I could rant on and on about how messed up the seasons are out here.  But when it’s good, man, it’s unbelievable.  Portlanders have to hang on to that, grasp it like a dream, else crazy takes over.  Seriously.

Anyway, I woke up groggy.  But I got out of bed and took a warm shower – it was like an Irish Spring commercial.  Well, not really.  But I have some amazing aromatherapy body scrubs and washes (in ginger, lemongrass, citrus, rosemary and sage) that seriously do invigorate.  Won’t change your life, but will get your butt to work.

Again with the neti pot and Wellness supplement.  That’s been my sinus infection exit strategy.  So far, so good.  And by the time I left the house I was feeling better, or at least clear.  But about mid-commute I was getting congested.  It’s so weird, the way of my nasal passages.

I got to work and took a Claritan-D.  I then made a cup of Yogi Chammomile tea and got back to work.  

Oh, and for lunch I had the best gluten free sandwhich I have ever had, to date.  I cut two slices of Whole Food’s Honey Oat gluten free bread, which is amazing.  The trick with gluten free bread is to stick it in the microwave for a few minutes.  This minimizes the typical crumbling.  I added organic smoked turkey breast (no nitrates or hormones, etc.), fresh, organic Romaine lettuce, organic white cheddar cheese slices and mustard.  I also had an organic dill pickle.  It was a great lunch!

My co-worker was so sweet to bring me a gluten free chocolate cookie she picked up at Whole Foods.  I had it with some fresh cherries I brought.  The cookie was more like a brownie.  So good.

But by 4:15 I was feeling like I was going to pass out.  I very suddenly got tired and started to get warm.  Then I began to sweat a little.  Then I was hot.  I knew I had a fever again.  My co-worker gave me an Aleve and I went home.  I was done.

I ordered some chicken Pho for dinner for take out.  I was still congested.  Great.  As I sat back and ate my dinner, I heard a news report on why men are supposedly afraid of getting married.  They fear the marriage will end badly, with a bitter divorce, leaving them in financial ruin. 

On one hand, I can see their point.  But, on the other hand I find this incredibly demeaning and depressing.  First, it makes me think of nothing but greed.  I guess it really is all about money.   But, I even stated in one of my recent posts that so many marriages today are less about love, respect and companionship, and are more like business transactions.  Mergers.  Or sometimes acquisitions.  If men keep this fear or greed, or whatever you want to call it, in the back of their minds when they are making a commitment to a woman, then they are pretty much doomed, as far as I’m concerned. 

It seems to me if these men were more confident and competent in making a choice for a mate then they shouldn’t be worrying about divorce – and believe me, I know it goes both ways.  I’m just saying that a thoughtful, mature man (or woman) should be able to make a sensible decision in who he (she) chooses to marry.  And it takes a lot of hard work to make a marriage last.  

I think another part of the problem is with people who marry too young (before 30, in my opinion), as they have more than 50% chance of falling to a fate of divorce.  I think people who marry in their 20′s are a little crazy.  It seems to me that for those who grow up and live an independent adult life in their 20′s, well, they’ll have more time to become financially secure (both men and women), to figure out who they are and what they have to offer, and to discover what it is they really want out of life and a partner.  So, if you give yourself ample time to learn those very important things, by the time you’re in your thirties, and older, you are better positioned to make sensible decisions in selecting the right kind of partner and securing an enduring, strong marriage.  Statistics will teach you that.  And statistics don’t lie!!

If, I mean when I become a successful writer, and if, I mean when I meet ‘the one’, am I going to have to get him to sign a pre-nup?  Now that I know that men fear financial ruin from divorce, I don’t want to make myself, or my hard-earned financial success, fall to ruin, either.  Still, that’s so unromantic to me.  Perhaps practical, but unromantic.

It often seems like there’s no room for faith in love and marriage in today’s world.  The disease of divorce spreads too quickly like a pandemic.  It’s shocking to me how many men in their thirties are divorced in Oregon.  I’m not really sure what’s going on with the women, but I’ll assume they’re the other halves of that.  These are the guys who married in their 20′s, the guys who seem to really fear financial ruin if they marry a second time.  And who can blame them?  And if the divorce was their fault (cheating, abuse, addictions) that is likely to cost them more in a divorce, I imagine.

I guess if there’s any fear going into a potential marriage, wheather its rooted in finances, lack of self esteem, lack of trust – whatever – there’s a red flag.  And that person should know when to walk away.  But too many people settle and find themselves in less than desirable situations.  And live to regret it, in one way or another.

So, I don’t know how to resolve this issue, not that I’m trying to resolve it.  But, I think it’s silly for men to mope around with fear of marriage because they don’t want to fall to financial ruin.  If you end up making a really bad decision, especially the obvious ones, like marrying a golddigger just because she’s hot, or cheating on a sweet, devoted wife – you’re setting yourself up for financial ruin!   And I think you’re upping your chances for it, too, if you marry when you’re still a kid.  Hint to yourself -you probably shoudn’t marry if you can barely balance your checkbook

Seriously.  What is the rush??  If you meet the person you’re supposed to be with forever, then wait.  If they’re really the one, they’ll still be there when you’ve grown up a little.  Because you’re meant to be with them forever.  Right?  It’s a good test to see if you’re with the right person. 

By the time you’re in your 30′s you don’t necessarily need the same kind of test.  It’s funny.  I actually laugh when I think about my twenties.  Now.  At the time, well, my twenties were full of all kinds of growing pains.  Learning how to be fiscally responsible, figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, learning to live on my own.  These were incredibly important.  Equally important was putting myself in debt, travelling to Europe where I had a couple of amazing love stories, and chasing my dreams.

Interestingly enough, I could have been married twice in my twenties.  And I was soooo in loooove.  I was convinced that I was mature enough and ready for it.   I am so glad that I didn’t do it.  I’d either be divorced now or very unhappily married.  I am a totally different person than I was back then and it truly is a blessing that I got to have that precious time to learn so much about myself.  I really do have so much more to offer someone now at this age (34) than I ever could as a 20-something girl.  And that means I’m looking for a totally different kind of man to share my life with, as well.  But… that’s just me.

Anyway.  For those who are afraid of financial ruin from divorce, whether they were married and divorced before, or if they’re over 30, guys, lighten up and maybe get some therapy.  Everyone needs therapy, so don’t feel bad.  But, seriously, you guys need to talk to someone about those fears.  And if you’re that afraid, perhaps you’ll need a prenup to feel secure.  Nuff said.  I think I’ve beaten this dead horse beyond inhumane cause for imprisonment.

 

 

 

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Day 137: All We Need is Love

Thursday, January 31
10:55 p.m.

I woke up this morning after having a very good night’s sleep.  I have been struggling for some time with uneven sleep.  Today, I worked from home.  I turned on my computer, made breakfast and got to work.  Mid-day, I showered and left for a doctor’s appointment.  I got lost on the way, but once I got there, I met one of the best caregivers I have ever had. 

Later, I ended up going over to Pacific Breeze for a hot bowl of my comfort pho soup, then I went to pick up a birthday card for my dad, then went home and unwinded.  I breathed.  I stretched.  I checked email.  I did a hundred sit ups, some other strength exercises, made some plans for the weekend, then relaxed.

Earlier today, I got the name of a naturopath who works with celiac disease patients, along with a website for her practice.  I got an email from the editor at Inklings and if I can afford her services, I think I’m going to initiate the client-consultant relationship and see if this is the right direction for me.  I am making an effort to go to bed earlier.  I am going to be really cautious about what I eat when dining out.  I am going to find Shadow a home a.s.a.p.  I am going to try to be more positive.  I am trying to fill my days with purpose, reverence and gratitude.

When I think of love, the ultimate theme of this blog, so much of it comes from within.  How we treat ourselves, in particular.  I am iniquitously hard on myself.  But I want to change this.  Loving yourself is supreme to living a fulfilling, happy life.  So often we think we need other things, other loves, if you will, to feel and experience fulfillment and happiness.  I found this great article from Psychology Today Magazine on Self Love.  It’s not rocket science, but it’s certainly enlightening.  The article charges, “self-love doesn’t happen by luck or the grace of God. You have to create it.”

I always loved Whitney Houston’s affirming and luminous version of “The Greatest Love of All”.  I used to play it on the piano when I was a teenager.  The lyrics gave me a sense of responsibility to love myself and not in a Narcissistic way.  And I have been in and out of love with myself, just like most people are with most relationships in their lives.  But the lessons are always true.  You can’t love anyone until you love yourself, learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all, and so on.  What it all comes down to is harboring self-respect, forgiving yourself as needed, liking your personality, taking pride in yourself and your successes, and enjoying yourself, allowing yourself to do the things that define you and make you happy.  It’s not as easy as it should be, but it’s important to take the time, to explore your life in such a way that you can appreciate yourself and what you bring to this world. 

Every now and again this blog will return to this very important theme.  Love is universal.  Love is everything.  Love is sacred.  Love is all. And John Lennon perfectly chanted, “All we need is love, love is all we need.”  When we feel and experience love, we are enlightened, we are pure and we are reverent.  It is a lightness of being, it is irresistible and it is healing.  Even as I write all of this I feel uplifted, hopeful and at peace.

I don’t want to imply that I don’t self-loathe, get lost and distressed and depressed.  Clearly that happens, but somehow I never really lose hope.  And I am grateful for that.  I somehow get anchored in love.  And my faith in God is a huge reason for that. 

So, before I got ready for bed, I said a prayer about my gratitude and I made a promise to be better to myself, to be kinder to myself, to let the love within rise and pour forth positive energy to the world.  If more people could do that, we’d live in a better, kinder, more loving world.  If everyone could find it within, dig down deep and love themselves, that love would reflect outward.  It’s a simple thought, but a powerful one.  In my prayer, I hoped more people would do just that.

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