Day 358: Running Free, No Longer Going Nowhere

Tuesday, September 9

In moments of self doubt, sometimes the unthinkable can happen.  Sometimes miracles can happen.  Okay, maybe I’m going a little bit overboard.  But, I have been a little bluesy over the past few days.  Got my celiac rash bach.  So, I knew the negative, despressed feelings were my symptoms returning.  After I wrote yesterday’s entry, feeling so down and exhausted, like I’ve been running like hell on my treadmill but going nowhere, I realized I was being entirely too hard on myself.  I don’t want to patronize myself and suggest, sure - all my dreams will come true.  I need to re-evaluate my dreams and why I have them.  This will help me figure out how I can reach them.  I caught a flickering light of reason at the end of that entry, with my consideration of the Shakespeare quote – strong reasons make strong answers.

So, by the time I did my skincare regimen, sprayed my room with a soothing sandalwood and cinnamon aromatherapy, and pulled back the sheets, I felt relaxed in the sanctuary of my room.  I have made it a temple for sleep.  And at the end of every day, I am able to lay down, have two sweet kitties snuggle up next to me and fall with ease into deep, restorative sleep.

When I woke up an essay came to me.  I took out one of my notebooks and wrote feverishly.  In twenty minutes I had the skeleton of some really good content.  When I closed the notebook and finished getting ready for work, I took a mental note of where to submit this.  Top of my list are River Teeth journal and Seattle Concious Choice magazine.  My essay was about what it feels like in moments of succumbing to anxiety and depression, as experienced through malabsorption of nutrients from celiac disease.  I mustered some humor in the midst of such a heavy subject.  In the end, I thought and felt that it was well written.

During my lunch break, I wrote down some lines about the ineffectiveness of the National Organization for Women (N.O.W.), how it has become nothing more than an advocate for one issue (abortion, as if I really need to state that) and how disturbing it has been to watch the organization sit back and do nothing while sexism had smacked both Hilary Clinton and Sarah Palin in the currrent election.  I then highlighted the more current and relevant organization that better supports women, irrespective of party or issue.  It’s an organization that promises to protect all women running for elected office.  It protects in a way that N.O.W. has terribly and erroneously neglected.  That new organization is called WomenCount.

I was energized with good essays to finish and submit for publication.  And I need to give credit where credit is due – this blog.  It has forced me to write daily, to think and write in essay form.  It has helped me to hone my skill of writing narrative nonfiction. 

What a difference a day makes.

And this evening, I went for my first real run outside in years.  I broke free from the treadmill.  And, it’s not that the treadmill is a bad thing, per se.  During inclement weather, a gym and treadmill is better than nothing at all.  But, this evening, I ran free.  I ran through my neighborhood, with gorgeous houses lining the streets and tall trees to admire.  I ran up-hill, around bends, down-hill.  And I only ran for twenty minutes, but I was satisfied.  It’s a different kind of energy running outside than on a treadmill.  It felt good.  And I made a goal to be ready to run the Jingle Bell 5K Run this winter.  As long as I can help it, I’m no longer going nowhere.

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Day 259: Farewell My Mandolin, More Books on Writing, Fine Brew Pub Cuisine & A Thankful Haiku

Sunday, June 1

Well, June opened with a cool, crappy weather day.  I got up with some really good intentions for how I should spend my day.  I thought about going to either a yoga or a pilates class at Yoga Pearl, followed by a sauna and steam at Löyly.  Then, I was going to meet a Craig’s List buyer to sell my bluegrass mandolin.  Then, I thought I’d go to the Writer’s Dojo.  But, my day unfolded a little different.

I met the Craig’s List buyer at Powell’s downtown and we made the exchange.  He was very nice and we chatted for a bit about the instrument.  He wore an Oriole’s jacket and I told him I was born in the same hospital as Cal Ripken, Jr.  That was a good sign!  He’s from Bethesda, Maryland – not far from where I grew up.  I told him that I tend to get attached to things and that I was a little sad to sell the mandolin, but, I was happy it was going to someone who was going to play it.  It’s a pretty instrument and should be played.  It was just sitting in the corner of my aparment, silenced.  He was sweet – he said he’d email me to let me know how the mandolin’s doing.  Then, a nice quick cup of coffee at Peet’s to chat about mandolin classes and music books.  The money I made from the sell, which was a bit less than what I paid for it, will go into my savings account.

I then went back to Powell’s to peruse the writer’s section.  I finally picked up a copy of Elizabeth Lyon’s book Nonfiction Book Proposals Anybody Can Write.  I have heard much praise about Anne Lamott’s book on writing, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life.  I also picked up a used copy of The Art of Nonfiction by Ayn Rand.  And finally, I got a copy of Barbara Kingsolver’s book of essays, Small Wonder.  I really dislike writing short fiction and so I want to develop my essay writing skills.

As I was walking down 11th Street in the Pearl, not sure where my footsteps should take me, I approached the new Deschutes Brewery Pub and noticed my co-worker and her husband.  They waved and I smiled.  It was a pleasant surprise!  I went inside to say hello.  They kindly asked me to join them.  It was really wonderful. 

The design was very spacious, open with great seating areas.  There’s a large, round table on top of a barrel with cool barstools around it.  There were a few wooded arches between seating areas with really cool carvings.  It was very rustic and yet very beautiful.

Deschutes did not have their low gluten beer available anymore – to my dismay.  So, I ordered a glass of Oregon Viognier.  I was handed a gluten-free menu, which was nice.  I ordered the sausage, duck prosciutto and salami appetizer with pickled veggies and a side of french fries – that were cooked in a fryer that does not fry breaded foods.  So, it was all safe and very good late lunch.  Probably the best pub food I’ve ever had, next to Old Dominion Brewery in Ashland, Virginia.

My friends ordered a beer sampler and really liked the brews they tried.  They each ordered a different brew with their food.  After we settled the tab, I went to the front concierge and asked if I could fill out a comment card to request they keep the low gluten brew (it’s like 90% gluten free) on the menu, and even pleaded they create a 100% gluten free beer to have available.  They sold out of their brew in two weeks – I would say that indicates there’s a market for it!

After, I drove back home and headed to Whole Foods at Bridgeport Village.  My mom had sent me a nice gift card.  I picked up my cosmetic night cream, daily moisturizer and toner, since I was running low.  I found gluten-free mini blueberry muffins by Kinnikinnick.  I also found cinnamon raisin bagels by Enjoy Life, which I’ve picked up there before.  Amy’s Kitchen has a new product, too, the gluten-free Tamale Verde in two versions – black bean and cheese.  I was so excited!  Amy’s also now makes a gluten free personal pizza, which was very exciting, as well.  I also picked up Yogi tea in Cammomile and Stomach Ease.

I had the Tamale Verde in black bean for dinner.  It was fantastic!  I made a cup of Yogi Cammomile tea and kicked back  while I flipped through my new books.

My sister informed me she was sending me a check for my L.J.S.W. Fund -which made me laugh, but I honestly appreciated.  I worked on a customized haiku for her, which I am going to put into a design and then frame it for her. 

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