Monday, September 17
Again, not in real time with my postings, but the writing does correspond to the date and time above.
I was watching a repeat episode of the television show Scrubs, or, rather, it was on in the background as I was packing for the move, and Tom Cavanagh was guest appearing as JD’s (Zach Braff) older brother. I immediately thought of Tom’s former show, Ed. I didn’t watch Ed regularly, but caught a few episodes here and there. He’s cute in a normal guy kind of way, like my last B-list celeb mention, Michael Vartan. I’m not sure why I’ve been drawn to these two actors this week – I mean, I didn’t seek them out to think about as fantasy boyfriends, or anything. I sware I’m not that lame. But, something about these two has caught my attention.
For one, there’s no real object of affection to claim yet. So, I am not even thinking about a real person to pair up with, nor would I think about starting up a relationship without having met and fallen for someone with whom I would want to start a relationship with. This may be getting confusing. But, what I think I’m trying to communicate is that because there’s no real risk in admiring an untouchable, you can assess what it is that makes the untouchable intriguing to you, which can help you consider the kinds of attributes you are looking for in a real partner. Upon recognizing those attributes, well, you can identify better the kind of person who is right for you when you meet him or her.
And I’m not even suggesting that you base your key attributes for a partner on a celebrity. God, that would be pretty shallow and out of touch. Irrespective, I think there’s something to be said about the quality attributes that you see or admire in the famous. For example, both Vartan and Cavanagh seem like geniunely kind, unaffected, sensitive guys. But, they could be acting. Because, well, they’re professional actors. I think what makes them striking to me, though, is the aw-shucks boyishness met with a hint of rascally intrigue. There’s an energy to these two that is confident, happy, relaxed and unpretentious.
So, I could poke my own eye out for spending thirty minutes or so pondering on the likeability and desirability of two Hollywood actors. Admittedly, it does fill in the space of boredom that comes with packing up all of my crap. I’m brain dead from the stress of it all, and brainless television is like candy or Scotch whiskey, soothing and sweet. Which is why I have been thriving off of the repeat episodes of Will & Grace and Sex & the City every night.
I couldn’t help but wonder…per my very best Carrie Bradshaw columnist copycat…do we fixate on the unattainable to recover from boredom and pain, or do we do it to feel something at a time when there’s no one around to feel that something for? I think we all want to be in love – it’s human nature. But, let’s face it, when you don’t have a partner to be in love with, or if the magic has all but disappeared, we still long to feel that magic. Even if it isn’t real.